


all is tenderness and laughter

by Stellonia



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Anachronistic, Cinderella Elements, F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fluff, did y'all want cinderjake (this fics WIP title)?? No?? Well he's here, i guess, i. This is a disaster but I had fun so that's worth something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 22:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stellonia/pseuds/Stellonia
Summary: Once upon a time, in a far-off kingdom, there was a kind young man named Jake. He lived with his two stepsisters and his stepmother, who were very mean to him. Jealous of his beauty and charm, they made him do all their chores--Wait a second… that's not the right story! Let's try this again.Once upon a time, in a far-off kingdom, there was a kind young man named Jake. He lived with his mother, who was very nice to him, and his foster-sister Gina, who was less so. He rarely did any chores.





	all is tenderness and laughter

**Author's Note:**

> My best friend, who is watching Brooklyn 99 for the first time, made one (1) joke comment about how Jake was Cinderella because he had Algernon. So I.. did this in a daze.
> 
> title from into the woods, bc I was feeling that

Once upon a time, in a far-off kingdom, there was a kind young man named Jake. He lived with his two stepsisters and his stepmother, who were very mean to him. Jealous of his beauty and charm, they made him do all their chores--

Wait a second… that's not the right story! Let's try this again.

Once upon a time, in a far-off kingdom, there was a kind young man named Jake. He lived with his mother, who was very nice to him, and his foster-sister Gina, who was less so. He rarely did any chores. 

In fact - their house became so unkempt that mice started to live in it. But as was said before - Jake was a kind young man, and quickly befriended the mice. 

He would feed the mice his leftovers, as he felt he should look out for them. Little did he know that one mouse, Algernon, would be looking out for him as well.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. 

One fateful day, a royal messenger arrived with an announcement. There was going to be a ball that evening, in honor of Princess Amy Santiago. 

It was about finding the princess a ‘suitable husband’, and every eligible bachelor in the kingdom was invited. Jake thought this was archaic. (Come on, it's 1877! Get woke.)

But wooing a princess wasn't his goal - a ball meant fancy music and rich foods, bright lights and interesting people. He was certain he wanted to go.

He told this to his sister, Gina, who critically looked him over.

“Mhm. And just what do you plan to wear?” She asked. “Your wardrobe isn't exactly ball-ready, hon.”

Algernon overheard their conversation, and decided that he would help Jake. 

He scurried up to the attic - where Gina and Jake had gone to look for clothes. He noticed a worn-out suit that had belonged to Jake's father. Gina screeched when she saw him.

“Jake! When are you gonna get rid of the rats?”

“They're mice! And never, they're my very good friends.” He looked at his very good friend, and had an epiphany. “And, Algernon here just gave me an idea. What if we refurbished this old suit?”

The three of them worked all day to get it finished. Algernon found buttons, Jake sloppily sewed, and Gina provided artistic direction. 

They finished just as the carriage arrived - Jake couldn't believe they had actually done it!

He felt out of place, in the fancy carriage. He didn't belong here. He knew this would not last. But he didn't care to think about that - he'd just enjoy the ride. 

They approached the palace, closer and closer until they were actually there, and Jake was full of wonder. He had never seen it this close! It was just as gorgeous as he had imagined.

His reverie was broken on the steps of the palace, as he recognized an all too familiar face: the Vulture.

The Vulture was a cruel man, who delighted in taking credit where he deserved none. Jake had the misfortune of making his acquaintance. He gulped and tried to hurry past, but it was too late - he had been spotted.

“What do you think you're doing, Peralta?” He asked.

“Uh. Going to the ball?” 

“Not a chance, peasant. I don't need any more competition for the Princess,” the Vulture said. Jake would have told him that the implications of it being a competition weren't great. He would have, but before he could, the Vulture ripped apart Jake's suit. “Good luck impressing her with that.”

“Yeah, well - bad luck impressing her with that, that - that chauvinistic attitude!” He yelled, and tears welled in his eyes. People started to stare at him. He felt a deep and unnerving fear, that people knew he did not belong. So he ran.

He ran as fast as he could. He didn't pay attention to where he was going - anywhere else would do. Under a large hazel tree, he stopped to catch his breath. 

“I just,” he sobbed. “I wish I could have had a fun night at the ball.”

“Is that what you truly wish for, Jacob?”

Jake screamed. The voice was deep and full of gravitas. The source stood in front of him, a man with dark brown skin and silver hair. “Who are you? How do you know my name?”

“At ease, young man. I am… your fairy godfather.” He said it plainly, as if this was not strange. 

“What? Really?” Jake asked.

“Of course. I shall demonstrate. You wish to attend the ball, correct?” 

“Are you not going to explain the whole - everything?” Jake said. “You know, I just won't question this, it'll be easier that way. Yeah, I do wanna go to the ball, but my outfit was torn to shreds, along with my dreams!”

“Not to worry.” Completely deadpan, he recited: “Bippity. Boppity. Boo.” 

Suddenly, he was wearing an ensemble fit for a prince. A light blue suit with golden epaulettes. And… crystal shoes? He never understood fashion. But it all came together.

He felt like another person. He really could go! He hugged his fairy godfather, thanking him profusely.

“Be warned - this will only last for tonight. When the clock strikes midnight, I am afraid this shall go away. Understood?”

“Yes, consequences, blah blah, okay bye thank you so much!”

Jake ran back to the ball - not eager to waste any more time. As he stood on the steps on the palace, he still felt like he did not belong - but this time, he would at least look the part.

He entered, and the music swelled. This was just coincidental, but made him feel special nonetheless.

“Oh my goodness! Sir Jonathan, you were able to make it!” A woman he had never met before said, with a look of desperation in her eyes.

“Ah, yes. That is me! Sir Jonathan. For sure. My friends call me Johnny,” he said, in an indiscernible accent. The woman was clearly relieved. “It is absolutely scrumptious to see you.”

“Theodore, I'm terribly sorry to leave you, but I must catch up with Sir Jonathan,” she said. “He's traveled from afar to be here.”

She took his arm and leaned in close, quickly moving them away. “I’m so sorry for putting you on the spot like that, I really appreciate you helping me out. But… scrumptious? Really?”

“I panicked! I was too busy making Sir Jonathans backstory,” he whispered.

“How is that relevant?” She asked.

“I'm a method actor!” He said. “Sir Jonathan is a talented violin player. But he's got a dark secret… what that is, I am still not sure, but it's definitely dark.”

The woman stopped walking - they ended up in a courtyard. This is the first time he really looked at her - she was wearing a navy dress that puffed out at the bottom, covered in sparkles. It made her look like a mermaid. Her dark hair was up in a prim bun. Her eyes were kind. Her smile was soft. 

She was absolutely gorgeous. 

“I think we're in the clear,” she said. “Again, I'm so grateful for what you did, but - this won't improve your chances, okay?”

“Chances?” He asked. She looked surprised - and then she laughed. He felt a tad self-conscious, but her laughter was infectious and he wanted to hear more. So, always good at deflecting with humor, he started to make jokes.

“Oh, I get it! There's a raffle, probably for some super fancy royal stuff, and you're in charge of it. I don't mean to sound entitled, but a bonus entry only seems fair.”

“Oh my gosh, no, I-” The unknown woman couldn't stop laughing. She tried to tell him something, but in her fit of laughter, couldn't get it out.

“I mean, I totally saved you out there! From Theodore and his… uh, I really don't know anything about him, so… his conversation that you were either uncomfortable with or bored of! So I think the extra tickets I get should be based on how bad it would have been--”

“Marriage!” She wheezed out. He stopped in his tracks, and gave her a curious look. The woman took deep breaths. “Chances… chances of marriage. Of - of marrying me. Those chances. “

“Wait - what now?” He asked. The realization dawned on him, and he panicked. “Oh. Oh my gosh, you're the princess, aren't you.”

“Yep,” the princess smiled, extending her arm. “Amy Santiago. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. …?”

He does an awkward bow, not really sure what the proper etiquette for this was. Judging by the odd look on her face, he figures that wasn't it. So he does the normal thing and shakes her hand. “Jaaayke. No, uh, it's just Jake like a normal person name, I - I just made myself look like an idiot in front of the princess, didn't I?”

“Yeah, a little,” she said. He flushed pink. “In an endearing sort of way. It's… nice, knowing that somebody is being genuine. You have to understand, most people, they - they just schmooze and suck up and try to get favors.”

“That sucks,” he said, quick and without a second thought. Jake knew it was an understatement, but he lacked the words to say anything more. She smiled.

“... you're right. It does suck.”

Then, she squeezed his hand. And she didn't let go. It was subtle and understated - hardly a grand display of affection. But he felt light as air, like everything else but her had disappeared.

They stood like that for a minute, quietly listening to the muffled music. Neither one of them wanted to acknowledge it. It would be such a foolish risk, indulging in a whirlwind fantasy. What kind of fairytale nonsense would that be?

“Would you, uh,” he put a hand through his hair, “like to dance?”

Her eyes widened, shocked and horrified. Jake immediately felt terrible.

“Oh my god, I'm sorry if I overstepped-”

“No! It's, uh,” she looked down. “I'm a terrible dancer.”

“Wait, that's it?” He blinked. “If you don't want to dance that's fine, but if it's just that - you can't be that bad.”

She could, in fact, be that bad.

But it didn't seem to matter. They talked, and they laughed, and they did what could technically be called dancing.

Many people came looking for Amy, and they delighted in coming up with egregious explanations. She never, not even once, considered going back to the ballroom.

“And like. I'm still very angry about it all, because what the hell! I’ll find a husband on my own time. You've got seven other heirs!” She ranted, as she paced the stairs.

“Exactly!” He nodded. He knew it was getting late - but surely not that late. He still had time. A part of him thought - no, knew that once midnight passed, this would all be over. 

Amy stopped beside him. After a thought, she sat down. “I still assert that this entire idea is garbage. But… I ended up meeting you. That was, uh - decidedly not garbage.”

He smiled. “It was decidedly not garbage meeting you too.”

“I'm not going to ask you to marry me, because, as previously discussed, that's a terrible awful dumb plan. But I would like to - to see you again,” she said. She took his hand in hers, and really - he was doomed from the start.

“Yeah, I'd like that too.” He sighed. Jake was relieved, though he didn't quite believe this was real.

“A kiss goodbye would also - I'd like that too. If that's what you want, of course!” 

He pinched himself. He was not in the right story - that's what his senses told him. But everything else pointed to reality. “Yeah. I'd also like that. As a thing.”

“Okay,” she said, with a smile that kept growing. 

And they both kept smiling, and not actually doing something. And then they did, and it felt like --

It felt like a happily ever after. It felt like fairytale nonsense and improbability and serendipity. It was perfect. 

Then a clock rang out. Twelve times.

Jake never was good with deadlines, okay?

“What's with the… outfit?” Asked the clever princess.

“It's a long story,” said the kind young man. “So, uh, let's start at the beginning…”

**Author's Note:**

> idk?? I let it get away from me im sorry


End file.
